The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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