Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
