I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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