I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
