One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
