He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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