I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
