And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i will never coherently bang her
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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