I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
