You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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