My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
