Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Porn is love you can see.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
