No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
