I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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