Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
