all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
