somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
