Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
God, I missed his penis.
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