i think my mom watched the whole time
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
