i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
