drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
