I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize