Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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