I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
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