do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
