all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize