So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
