I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
