last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
