ya dads aren't the best wingmen
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
