Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
