It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
