Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
