Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
