super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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