you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize