The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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