I'm going to jail i love you
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I think people are normalizing furries
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
