She's JV to your varsity
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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