He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
