I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
