My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I checked into jail on foursquare
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
