i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
