honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
