We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
