problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
