he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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