it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
