Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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