I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
