i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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