yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
