Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
