I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
