I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
